unfiltered thoughts

 im gon talk about how i feel staying home for few weeks. first and foremost, i feel like im drained,absolutely drained. im repeating the same routine again,going to my mom's shop,coming home,doing the chores,talk to someone and repeat. i feel so frustrated esp the thought of going to my moms shop killing me everyday. all i need is to be out,i cant find a job and hopefully i will. i know you will read this in the future and cringe because i guess you'd be more grown and stable by that time. im not connected with god,i just rant abt how i feel everyday to him. im not depressed neither any mental health issues,im just trying to live my life,do something new.thats all i want.my eyes getting wet these days, because of the frustration i feel,i want to rage and kill someone,thats how i feel. i find peace in night drives. i just want to stay home for a while because my home is not feeling like a home anymore and again, i hate going to my moms shop bcs obviously im a prestigious guy and i can feel the people stares at me. i feel so embarassed,i feel so frustrated there, and i want my parents to know that i dislike coming to the shop, its been so long since ive stayed home,like even fully, they wont let me all the time,and i feel pure angry about it. i just wanna stay home for a while and go out,i just wanna be away from home and the shop.i want to be alone and with my friends for some time too. obviously i cant say this infront of my parents because i hate opening up to my family so if you're reading this luckily, i just want you to know that this how i feel inside. i dont hate anyone and im not mentally ill. just let me be myself and i dont wanna come to the shop more often,i want to feel the joy of staying home. just let me be myself,thanks for your care and love but i really dont need it for now because all i care about is myself,respectfully. thank you.

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