oblivion

Wednesday today. i woke up in the morning to go to class as usual. i had computer networking class in the morning at 8am. went there pretty late abt 15 minutes. as we know,i barely put effort into groupworks because i literally dont understand anything. i just be blank there without no clue abt whats happening. so this morning,madam came for the inspection, and wanted us to perform the networking stuff and she asked me some stuff. i didnt know what to do and she said what you did in the group and i said nothing.she asked me to do the networking stuff and to show it to her tomorrow. well she was cool. i felt something heavy on my chest and still i do. thinking abt how i didnt know anything and still i dont know anything. i dont understand most subs im studying and i dont understand my course as well. i came here because i didnt know what to do and now, i feel like i want to drop and pursue something i love which is music,designing,singing and creative thinking. im thinking of it but where will i go if i left this course, i dont know. im asking the lord above me to guide me as im confused now.i feel like its not too late. nothing is late to be honest,except death. the suprise gift? i asumme it is. im not scared of death. im alright with living too. i just be afraid abt hell and heaven. the eternal seperation from god. the heavy feeling still lingers in me. im sighing continously. maybe i should leave this course and do something i like. my parents might support me. whom will i contact. which way is the success. i do not know yet.


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